Call me Danger.

Copious nonsense, occasional seriousness.
areasofmyexpertise:

ATTENTION residents of the city of Chicago. 
AS YOU KNOW, tonight’s END IS NIGH show at the Second City ETC. stage is SOLD OUT.
HONESTLY I WISH we could do a second show for you, but time simply will not allow it. 
HOWEVER, I am going to be signing books in the lobby AFTER the show, and NO ONE CAN STOP YOU FROM BOTHERING ME THERE.
AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME FROM SINGING. 
I am told that the BOOK STALL will have extra copies of THAT IS ALL to sell to you; or you may simply bring your own copy by the lobby of the SECOND CITY ETC theater at 1608 N. Wells and I WILL SIGN THESE THINGS FOR YOU. 
DO NOT COME BY BEFORE 9:30. 
AS AN ADDED BONUS TO YOU, at 10PM, I will play LA VIE EN ROSE on the ukulele. And if you pray to the sasquatch god, I bet you anything JOHN RODERICK, a surprise guest (!), will sing it with me. 
PLUS, did I mention tonight that there is EVEN ANOTHER SURPRISE GUEST? I may have actually announced this guest, but as we are SOLD OUT anyway and I no longer need to trade on his name, I will simply say HE IS GREAT and a NATIVE CHICAGOAN. 
THAT IS ALL. 

Some fun facts about Jeppson’s Malort:
-It is (unfortunately) the liquor of choice for college students playing in the College National Curling Tournament once gametime is over.
-Those same students refer to Jeppson’s as “The Judge” and is is drunk as punishment for hogging a stone (failing to deliver a stone that crosses over the line that allows it to be in play).

areasofmyexpertise:

ATTENTION residents of the city of Chicago. 

AS YOU KNOW, tonight’s END IS NIGH show at the Second City ETC. stage is SOLD OUT.

HONESTLY I WISH we could do a second show for you, but time simply will not allow it. 

HOWEVER, I am going to be signing books in the lobby AFTER the show, and NO ONE CAN STOP YOU FROM BOTHERING ME THERE.

AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME FROM SINGING. 

I am told that the BOOK STALL will have extra copies of THAT IS ALL to sell to you; or you may simply bring your own copy by the lobby of the SECOND CITY ETC theater at 1608 N. Wells and I WILL SIGN THESE THINGS FOR YOU. 

DO NOT COME BY BEFORE 9:30. 

AS AN ADDED BONUS TO YOU, at 10PM, I will play LA VIE EN ROSE on the ukulele. And if you pray to the sasquatch god, I bet you anything JOHN RODERICK, a surprise guest (!), will sing it with me. 

PLUS, did I mention tonight that there is EVEN ANOTHER SURPRISE GUEST? I may have actually announced this guest, but as we are SOLD OUT anyway and I no longer need to trade on his name, I will simply say HE IS GREAT and a NATIVE CHICAGOAN. 

THAT IS ALL. 

Some fun facts about Jeppson’s Malort:

-It is (unfortunately) the liquor of choice for college students playing in the College National Curling Tournament once gametime is over.

-Those same students refer to Jeppson’s as “The Judge” and is is drunk as punishment for hogging a stone (failing to deliver a stone that crosses over the line that allows it to be in play).

(Source: areasofmyexpertise)